The humid dusk devours me
An growing soul fully adult at last
Unsure of things to come
Whilst trying hard to trust the plans in motion
Drawn up in love just as
The earthen vessel i inhabit
Yet i understand so little of my whereabouts:

It escapes reason
As to why my view above to sense is clouded
Along with my judgement
In crucial times of decision;
When strength is most desired
My weakness rusts through the exterior walls
Of my once-perfect yet self-ruined design
Covered with superficial words and physical fronts

By my own miscalculations
And attempts to second-guess
Whilst trusting beyond what common sense suggests
And giving more than is required of yet
The path to dreams seems almost suicidal now
When hearts feel so incapable to heal again
And chosen souls impossible to find

My errors seem unfathomable still
Against the view when stepping thoughtfully in
Towards what came to be a snare
Which lacerated, bruised and broke the skin
My judgement less than sense i trust
When weighing up the risk of opening up again
But i fear more a lifetime spent alone
Thus indecision reigns amidst the calming dusk

A new chapter is opening
With new ambitions, new challenges, new disappointments
Where closeness to the Epicentre
Is desirable beyond any other dreams
So much that they seem dispensable
In comparison with such Divine attachment
Although my heart would suffer at
The expense of a soulmate and fatherhood

Set course for truth
And i will follow swiftly
Set plans for hearts
And i will try to bend
Set forth new grace
And i will walk more easy
Set as Your will
And i will.

JE 17/06/05